fooling myself

Week 6  Psalm 36

David begins with a short list – Characteristics of an Evil Person:
He flatters himself
He’s deceitful
He lacks wisdom
He avoids doing good
He plots evil
He acts-out evil
He endorses wrong action.
The whole list is pretty unhappy-sounding. But it was the first item that really caught my attention: in his own eyes (an evil person) flatters himself too much to detect or hate his own sin.
It looks like the guy is congratulating himself so much that his self-congratulation ends up masking any ability he might have to identify his own evil-ness.
I draw a quick graph with an X & Y axis.
Self-congratulation is at the bottom-left where the X & Y axes meet.
Evil-recognition is up near the top of the Y-axis. David says there’s an inverse relationship between self-congratulation and evil-recognition. Along the X-axis I start angling the self-congratulation line…up-up-up. Then I start drawing the evil-recognition line…down-down-down. They cross. Eventually my self-congratulation line peaks – meanwhile my evil-recognition capacity has bottomed-out.
It’s a tricky thing since boosting myself is pretty normal. But David is saying that if I let my Self-Promotional instinct evolve there’ll be a side-effect: I’ll lose my ability to recognize evil. And even though he doesn’t spell it out in so many words David seems to be saying two other things. 1) that NOT jacking myself up is what gives me the best view of my own evil-ness. And  2) that being aware of my evil is a beneficial thing.

Note: quote from Psalm 36:2 (NIV)

switcheroo

Week 5  Exodus 21-40

The second half of the book of Exodus is the first big block of demanding reading in my through-the-bible year.
I took some time to map out the whole book section-by-section to see what I had:
From Egypt to Mount Sinai (Exodus 1-19)
The Ten Commandments (20)
A list of laws (21-23)
Israel accepts the covenant (24)
Instructions for building the Tabernacle (25-31)
Israel worships an idol (32-34)
The Tabernacle gets built (35-40)
So I can see that the book is made up of two kinds of writing: Story-telling & Instructional lists. I decided to reorganize Exodus along those lines:
Story-telling…
• From Egypt to Mount Sinai (1-19)
• The Ten Commandments (20)
• Israel accepts the covenant (24)
• Israel worships an idol (32-34)
Instructional lists…
• A list of laws (21-23)
• Instructions for building the Tabernacle (25-31)
• The Tabernacle gets built (35-40)
The stories in chapters 1-20 are pretty interesting (and some of them are really interesting). Apart from the Golden Calf fiasco the story-telling in the second-half of the book tails-off quite a bit.
I wondered if it would help to read the Stories first and then batch the Instructional Section into a 16-chapter quick-read blitz (or vice versa). I think it’d work (for instance I looked at the transition from 25-31 to 35-40 and it was seamless – a jump straight from the building planning into the building project).
I guess I could try it sometime. Realistically I’m not sure how much difference it would make. One way or the other I have to read it all.

disclosure

Week 5  Psalm 32

I altered the language in the first couple of verses. I was trying to make the message clear for myself:
Blessed is the person whose transgressions are forgiven
Blessed is the person whose sins are covered
Blessed is the guy whose sin the Lord does not count against him
Blessed is the person in whose spirit is no deceit.
The big question for David was: how do I get to the “blessed” stage?
How do I get my transgressions forgiven?
How do I get my sins covered?
How do I avoid getting my sins counted against me?
How do I get a spirit that is deceit-free?
These are four pretty depressing questions because the answer to all of them is: you don’t (and I think that’s why David is physically & psychically depressed in the third & fourth verses).
So then verse five arrives as a huge relief:
Then I acknowledged my sin to you (the Lord) and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord” – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
In the normal day-in-and-day-out of things people are chalking up an inventory of sins – all of them automatically & unavoidably registered. And the only way to nullify them – if I’m concerned about nullifying them – is to confess my transgressions to the Lord.
I will confess is David’s solution. And personal disclosure is one of the hardest things to do.

Note: paraphrase & quote Psalm 32:1-2 5 (NIV)